I'm afraid that we'll no longer be seeing each other regularly. I've been seeing some new airlines, and they've made me realize what an abusive partner you've been. You've taken me for granted, cheated and abused me, and I'm not putting up with it anymore.
I fly a lot for business. As a result, I've had frequent flyer status on United/Star Alliance for years ... generally either Gold or Silver, depending on how many international trips I make. The benefits and perks you gave me kept me coming back to you, even as you fell further and further behind technologically, and have been treating your customers with steadily declining courtesy.
This year, you stripped away all of my useful benefits as a Silver member. I no longer get Economy Plus seats, free checked baggage, free upgrades, or really anything else which makes spending time with you less unpleasant. I'm in the back of the plane with the proles, and you've made the back of the plane into a pretty nasty place.
The new airlines I've been seeing (VirginAmerica, JetBlue, and Southwest), are all younger, hipper, better looking, and have much better senses of humor than you. More importantly, they appreciate me and treat me like a valued person. Jetblue and Virgin have more leg room in coach, onboard entertainment systems, wireless internet, and decent quality food and booze on sale. Southwest is plainer, but makes up for it by being "fast" (if you know what I mean), and checking my luggage for free. All three of my new airlines' web sites are an entire generation of technology ahead of yours.
We've both known this was coming since you acquired Continental. We knew that being bigger and fatter wasn't going to make you more sensitive to my needs. You've treated me shabbily, and it's time to end it.
A former Mileage Plus member
P.S.: I have a suggestion for a new United motto:
"We know you don't have a choice when you fly. That's why you're on United."